Friday, February 12, 2010

So...

Turns out, I'm forgetful.

I forget not to forgive somebody and end up hurting myself.

I went to see that person I had cut out of my life... and it was not fun. The only fun part was seeing my little niece. I love her to death and me and that little girl had some great bonding time.

"Toxic Relationships" they are called.

My mom actually told me this a long time ago. She then saw something about it on Oprah, and sent me to Oprah.com to learn about it.

Here are the different types of people who can be toxic to your life. Maybe you know someone like this...?

The People

Some relationships constantly drain your energy, in both obvious and subtle ways. Several types of people will exhaust you or deter you from your path to living a fulfilled life. Life coach Cheryl Richardson describes six types of toxic qualities in people.

The Blamer
This person likes to hear his own voice. He constantly complains about what isn't working in his life and yet gets energy from complaining and dumping his frustrations on you.

The Drainer
This is the needy person who calls to ask for your guidance, support, information, advice or whatever she needs to feel better in the moment. Because of her neediness, the conversation often revolves around her, and you can almost feel the life being sucked out of you during the conversation.

The Shamer
This person can be hazardous to your health. The shamer may cut you off, put you down, reprimand you, or make fun of your or your ideas in front of others. He often ignores your boundaries and may try to convince you that his criticism is for you own good. The shamer is the kind of person who makes you question your own sanity before his.

The Discounter
This is the person who discounts or challenges everything you say. Often, she has a strong need to be right and can find fault with any position. It can be exhausting to have a conversation with the discounter, so eventually you end up giving in and deciding to just listen.

The Gossip
This person avoids intimacy by talking about other behind their backs. The gossip gets energy from relaying stories, opinions, and the latest "scoop." By gossiping about others, he creates a lack of safety in his relationships, whether he realizes it or not. After all, if he'll talk about someone else, he'll talk about you.


If you know someone like this, go to Oprah.com and search "toxic relationships" for more info. :)

I'm gonna go back to reading the article haha



Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Fantastic

This has been *fantastic.*

I have removed a person from my life who was creating sooo much stress and if feels AMAZING. I have been working more and feel really good about myself. I have a doctor appt scheduled for tomorrow - just a check up.

"my" dog, Waylon, is getting HUGE and starting to behave a little better. Don't get me wrong, he's still rambunctious as all hell, but he at least knows several commands.
(he does tend to ignore them spontaneously but we just won't talk about that.)

Les and I are doing really well. We were fighting quite a bit, but I think that had to do with my pms self more than anything. He brought me "just because" roses yesterday and I could have died I was so happy! :)

Anyways... just a short update on my life. Anything new and exciting with my non-existent readers?

Saturday, May 30, 2009

stress and drama

As I make changes to my life I feel them floating away like bubbles.
I am so happy right now!

All I need is for my homework to start doing itself and life will be perfect! :)

So I know not really anybody reads this thing, so as I make these changes to my life, one of them will be to write here instead of myspace. Myspace blogs create drama. People on your friends who aren't really your friends read them and tell other people what they said and it just isn't right. I feel violated. I don't mind sharing my thoughts and feelings with #1 people i am friends with #2 people I don't know at all. The people in the middle are what worry me.. acquaintances, coworkers... etc. They are the ones that talk smack. Blahhhhh

So there are officially 8 pop cans on my desk. I need to clean!

Then once I'm done cleaning, I need to write a paper... then I need to watch an extra credit movie, then write another paper, then I need to email Nita, and study for my final...
and SOMEWHERE in there I have to
practice my saxophone
and
finish my final project for photojournalism.

i am so screwed!!

I can handle this, right??

Okays anyway gonna get going.

byes!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Neighbor Libby

I have been writing a story called Neighbor Libby for quite some time now. I just decided to put it up here because a friend of mine showed me his blog and got me all inspired-status.

Here it is so far!

Neighbor Libby
Copyright!! Written by Stacy Morgison
----Chapter One----

She was there, the neighbor girl, with her hair blonde and curly as ever. I admired her party dress. It was pink with daisies. Mine was a light blue and white plaid. Mom had brought it home yesterday from Thrift N Save. "Happy early birthday, sweety!" she had said.
Being eight wasn't all that different from being seven I decided, except for Libby, the neighbor girl, would speak with me now. When she had turned eight a few months ago, she wouldn't talk to me. Now here she was, in my yard, drinking my punch, and wearing a prettier dress. Why did mom invite the neighbors?
"Hi Chealsea," Libby was standing in front of me now, fruit punch in one hand, her other hand twirling around in her hair. I watched her fingers run smoothly down to the ends of her hair then reach back up to her neck, "happy birthday."
"Thanks," I sighed.
"Oh no problem. See, now that we are both eight, we can be friends!" Libby smiled and took a sip of her punch. I looked down at her white strappy sandles.
"Uh huh," I was suddenly distracted by Jonny, who lately asked us to call him "Jon." He had just arrived with his mom, and he was carrying a great big orange present. I watched him hand it to my mom, then he ran over to where Libby and I were.
"Happy birthday, Chelz!!" he shouted, "did ya see your present?! It's really big!!"
"And really orange!" I laughed. Orange was Jon's favorite color, "I'm so glad you came! Do you want to go play ball with me?" I gestured to the garage with the tattered hoop above the door.
Libby tapped her foot and crossed her arms the best she could with punch in her hand, "Chealsea, we are eight now, we can't play boy games any more."
I looked at her. Awe and anger flooded my face with red. How could she think she could control me this way? My bottom lip slowly worked its way inbetween my clenched slight overbite. Then she did what made me turn around and walk away. She smiled - ear to ear- and laughed.
"C'mon Jon," I said, "maybe I don't want to be eight like Libby," I want to be eight like Chealsea, I added in my head to make myself feel more important.
After just shooting a few hoops, a cake full of eight beautifully lit candles seemed to float around from the back corner of the house. Mom set it on the table, and people whispered to her, "oh Carla you really outdid yourself that cake is lovely," and, "how did you make those little flowers so perfectly?" My mom was a great cake-maker and cake-decorator. Then, Mom started singing, and everyone joined in chorus.
"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, dear Chealsea! Happy birthday to youuuuu," all smiles, I ran to the picnic table covered in the shiny pink table cloth. I had to blow out my candles.
My eight beautiful candle-- My thoughts had been interrupted by the world blurring up around me and my chin hitting the grass. It only took me a moment to figure out I tripped over a shoe, but who's? I looked up and there was Libby, a slight smirk on her face, offering her hand to help me up.
I groaned, picked myself up off the ground, glared at Libby, and stomped the rest of the way to the picnic table. Everyone's eyes were worried, and a few people asked if I was okay, but I ignored them. I had something important to do.
Looking down at the cake, I concentrated with intense force. I hope Libby never talks to me again. I WISH for Libby to never talk to me again... no that's not good enough. I wish Libby had to go away from here forever. I wish she wasn't my neighbor anymore... I wish... she'd just be gone! Breath bursted out from my pursed lips as I flowed from candle 1 to candle 8. Never had I had my heart set so tight on a birthday wish. The candles went out successfully in one breath. I glanced back at Libby and smiled. Soon she will be gone. I thought, and she looked at me quizzically.
Just then, the earth started rumbling. Then the grass started moving like how the blankets move when the cat is crawling underneath them, and the cake bounced on the table. Libby's punch fell out of her hand. My mom stopped taking snapshots of my face and my cake and looked around, worried. Then Jon yelled, "EARTHQUAKE!!!" and him, Libby, and I screamed and ran indoors with our parents not too far behind us.
Me and Jon dove under the dining room table, but there wasn't enough room for Libby. Our moms all lined up crouched along the support wall in the house. Libby dashed around, trying to find someplace safe. Our moms were all shouting different things, "Coffee table, Libby!" "Get in a cupboard, Libby!" "Stand in the hall doorway, Libby!" and she ran from one place to another. Glass was rattling and cupboards were booming. A lamp fell from the entertainment center and Libby screamed and got under the coffee table. Jon looked at me.
"What did you wish for?" he whispered, surveying the room with a puzzled face.
"I can't tell you or it won't come true," I said.
"So it wasn't an earth quake?" He asked, and I shook my head. Then we heard a loud crack. There was a ceiling fan in the living room and it was starting to rip out of the ceiling. The blades of the fan swung back and forth so far they were hitting the ceiling one at a time.
Libby shouted, "What was that?!"
That's when I noticed where she was. The coffee table was positioned directly below the ceiling fan. Our moms couldn't see her. Jon and I looked at her white knuckles gripping the legs of the table as hard as they could. She was lying on her back because that's the only way she could maneuver her body to fit under the little crescent shaped table with six legs. Tears made her cheeks reflect the light that, along with the earth, would not hold still. I found myself wishing with all my might that I hadn't made my wish, and Jon glared at my terrified face.
"I know what you wished for." He said, "That is not cool, Chealsea."
"I didn't wish for her to die!" I protested, realizing that my wish could easily be inerperted that way,"I just wished she would go away forever," I felt my nose stuff up and get cold, and my eyes started overflowing. What had I done? Was a birthday wish really this powerful?

----Chapter 2----

I sat in the hospital chair next to Libby's bed, reading her my favorite book. When the ceiling fan fell, it had landed on the far end of the coffee table, where her head was, and the legs of it snapped. Libby has been in a Coma since then. It was almost my 9th birthday, and I looked at Libby, who had missed her own 9th birthday, and wondered if she would be talking to me now, anyway. After all, she was 9 and I was 8 still.
I reached the last page of The Many Adventures of Whinnie the Pooh. She was supposed to wake up when I finished the book. I always set little goals for myself. It started out with she'll wake up when Jon wished her to at his birthday. She'll wake up when the first snow falls. She'll wake up for christmas. She'll wake up when her favorite cd has played all the way through. I was always there trying to wake Libby up. I was all Libby had, besides her mom's flowers sent every week from her work. Libby's mom came in every day for the first two weeks of the coma, but she just had to go back to work. "The hospital bills won't pay for themselves." She said, and now she only comes once every other week.
I took a deep breath, "maybe tomorrow, Lib." I said. I scooched of the chair, and walked to the library. It was between Pacific Medical and my house. I returned the book I had checked out the day before on Comas, and went to search for a book on birthday wishes. I found a few, but most were fiction novels, and the only nonfiction one I found did not look promising. There was one book left that was checked in, but I couldn't find it. With only that thread to hang on, my feet shuffled over to the tall librarian desk, and i grabbed the edge to lean on my tip-toes. The librarian at our library was not a typical librarian. She was about 28, with a nose ring and black and pink hair. The job made her dress professionally but she made every attempt not to within the rules. She had on a button down blouse, but a big necklace with a black spider that sparkled on the top of it. She wore a skirt with black tights, but her black tights had holes in them. She had to wear black dress shoes, so she figured big black boots with shiny silver buckles would do just fine. She looked down at me and smiled with her red lipstic amplifying her happy mood. We were good friends.
"What's up, Chealz?" She asked, leaning forward and resting her elbows on the table.
"Can you help me find this book, Penny?" I asked, sliding the piece of paper over to her. It had five crossed out books and one circled.
"The Deepest Secrets to Birthday Wishes, I never hearda that one," she came out from behind the counter, "Where have you looked already?
I pointed all around the store, explaining I searched everywhere, and she nodded. After a minute or two of glancing around the library, she got down to my level, like she was going to tell me a secret. It was like the air stopped moving in the whole place. Time stopped even. She rested her hand on my shoulder.
"There is something you have to see," she whispered, and slid her hand down my arm until it held mine. In one fluid motion she was suddenly holding my hand and walking me to the back of the library. A short dusty shelf filled with foreign encyclopedias seemed to approach us, rather than the other way around as we glided to the far back corner. She continued to hold my right hand in her left as she motioned to help her move the shelf. I turned to take in the moment, and noticed that no one else was in the library. Once I helped Penny move the shelf, a waist high tunnel revealed itself.

----------------------------

that's what I have thus far

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Grr.

I am very upset.

My blog has like NO traffic!!

How am I supposed to pursuit a writing career if nobody even looks at the pictures in my book?!

Where do I get my big shot? I don't even have 15 minutes of fame. I have zip minutes of no fame!

I fail at this blog thing - miserably!

-----
Now for the blogging part.
-----

I went to chris's birthday party!

It was fun
I got him a dog.

Sorry, I didn't bring a camera, so I didn't take any pictures (funny how that works).

I kinda feel like I didn't stay long enough... but thats okay. I didn't wanna party in my skirt and pig tails while les went to work!

But hopefully chris had a happy bday and liked his little squeeky dog :D

laterz

<3 Logic's Enemy

9/11 strike

strike 9/11 . org

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Bekah - The girl with the hair.

Fun.

Over the long weekend, I went with Les and Gerro to Kumoricon. It was lots and lots of fun. My first con ever... actually, my first anime event ever. I am looking forward to Sakuracon.

This is Les and Gerro, tired and somewhat bored at a non-eventful point of the con. Shortly afterward, Gerro's picture was taken, and Les and I were in the background. The pic is at 45 seconds of this video


I also got to meet Gir. I was stoked!


But yeah, that was my Kumoricon. :D

Ocean Shores

Thursday, August 9, 2007

More Cool Things made by me, of course...


Marissa
A Myspace graphic I made for my boyfriend
Eryn, Jim, and Jaysen at the wedding.

Their Wedding Cake

Monday, July 23, 2007

Evil Baby

Fun with Photoshop.



Wednesday, June 27, 2007

photogradical dude 2

Eryn the Beach Bum

Air Bear in the Sun




Wednesday, June 20, 2007

photogradical dude

Portrait of a Photographer (Me)

Eryn has triplets (three)

Monday, June 18, 2007

my essay... frikkin UGH

Accidental Epiphanies in Alice Munro’s Writing
Stacy [last name here]










June 12, 2007
Dr. Thompson
Eng102



Outline
Thesis Statement: Accidental epiphanies by women appear throughout Alice Munro’s writing.
I. Epiphanies
A. reasoning for thesis
B. thesis statement
II. What I mean by my theses
A. Her characters are always female, and the stories are usually problems faced by an every-day girl/woman. Explain what sort of problems
B. At the end of each story, the main character has learned something about herself. Munro doesn’t say this outright, but it is implied by the characters actions or talk of change in their life afterward.
III. An Ounce of a Cure
A. Give a short summary of this story, and analysis of the characters.
B. Note the changes that happen to her at the end of the story, what she’s learned, and how Munro shows it.
1. Quote
2. Relevance
IV. Dance of the Happy Shades.
A. Short summary/analysis
B. Note changes that happen at end, things learned, and how it’s shown
1. Solid examples from text
2. How it’s relevant
V. Differently.
A. Summary/analysis.
B. Note changes, lessons, and how Munro shows this
1. long quote
2. Explain quote and relevance
VI. Runaway.
A. Summary/analysis
B. Changes, lessons, and how Munro shows this
1. several short relevant quotes with
2. explanations
VII. Her experiences and her writing
A. all four stories relating to one another
B. Life in ontario
VIII. Conclusion
A. what’s been said
B. Emphasis on thesis

Accidental Epiphanies in Alice Munro’s Writing
Stories pass by eyes daily, and trends of the author often go unnoticed. A book, a story, an article is read, thought about momentarily, then forgotten, released, history to the reader, who just moves on to the next one. If care is taken to notice trends in writing, more can be gathered about each individual story. One Canadian writer and recipient of several awards is an example of this. Accidental epiphanies by women appear throughout Alice Munro’s writing. In each of Munro’s stories, her readers are introduced to a different female; each with their own problems, friends, and stories. At the end of every story the protagonist has learned who they are.
The female characters in Munro’s stories range from young to old and their problems are just as diverse. From a girl who drinks too much her first time, to a woman who cheats on her husband, to a young pianist and her elderly ditsy piano teacher, only a few constants are left – the female protagonists and their accidental epiphanies. Something about each character’s life either has changed or is going to, and it’s because the character now understands herself better than before. Their lives change by events such as moving, or having a different understanding on things or people surrounding their lives.
In “An Ounce of a Cure,” Munro introduces us to a young girl who’s at someone else’s house, babysitting. Once she had sent the children to bed, she observed the different bottles of alcohol spread out on the counter. Deciding she’d have a glass, she was unaware that people normally dilute hard alcohol with some other drink, and she filled it to the top with all different kinds mixed together. She was having a hard time with a boy at school, and she thought drinking would sort of buzz her, and lift her up to a place where she could be happy. Instead, she got terribly drunk, and sick. She ended up calling her best friend over to take care of her. Within the next few days, rumors had spread that she drank trying to kill herself over this boy, and she learned to ignore them. She began to realize the little things aren’t as important as things like family and friends. Munro doesn’t write “I came to the conclusion that I’d be a better person if…” or anything that suggests this character noticed herself being changed for life, but the reader understands that from what’s implied in the writing (Munro).
I felt that I had had a glimpse of the shameless, marvelous, shattering absurdity with which the plots of life, though not of fiction, are improvised. I could not take my eyes off it… … I knew that he had been surprised by a memory either of my devotion or my little buried catastrophe. I gave him a gentle, uncomprehending look in return. I am a grown-up woman now; let him unbury his own catastrophes. (Munro “Ounce” 538)
Another story written by Munro called “Dance of the Happy Shades” is about a girl who is learning piano from a woman who seems to have no ability to teach it. All of her students tend to be more on the piano plunking side than the piano playing side. Her recitals, which the teacher always called parties, were always somewhat boring and non-musical; until one day. Many students she had never seen before came through the door while the young girl was playing. While the main character was playing, she observed many students she had never seen before come through the door. Later, when one of the new students started to play she played so beautifully that the young girl and her mother, and everyone else and their mothers, were largely impressed. Everyone then had a new look on the teacher and her abilities. They started to think maybe they were wrong about her (Munro).
“Differently” tells a story about a woman who falls in love young, then cheats on her husband years later. The man she cheats with then becomes somewhat violent and she breaks it off, just to have him turn to her best friend for sex, and she gives it to him. Infidelity and distrust occur often in relationships that started at a young age. The problems the main character faces are somewhat off the wall. For example, she had to lie to her babysitter after an affair on the beach. There is perhaps a better example, though. At one point, she imagines that maybe her husband, who is supposedly on a trip somewhere, could be doing the same thing she is. In a way this helps her to justify her actions, and makes her wonder if the life she’s leading is the one for her after all. In the end, she winds up leaving her husband and all the events behind. She starts a whole new life for herself when she realizes she was living the wrong one. Maybe what Munro was trying to show is that it takes a mistake to figure out where your life is headed (Munro).
In a book called Runaway, a story with the same title is the first in the collection. This story is long, compared to most of her stories, and the plot is much more extensive. This story’s about a woman and her neighbor. The woman, Carla, had helped her neighbor, Mrs. Jamieson (Sylvia) cope after her husband died. The neighbor felt a strong bond to the woman after that.
While Sylvia was in Greece, her affection grew for Carla, and back at home, Carla began to dislike her husband. Their goat had run away, and their horse-lesson business wasn’t doing very well. She was on an emotional rollercoaster, and when Mrs. Jamieson came back, Carla explained everything to her. She included how badly her husband had been treating her, and concluded with her wish to get away. Her neighbor helped her out with some money and a place to stay a few cities away, then gave her a ride to the bus stop.
Once on the bus, the woman changes her mind, gets off and calls her husband to come and get her. While the husband tells Mrs. Jamieson to stay out of their lives, the goat appears. The husband didn’t take the goat home though, and when Carla found out, she decided not to ask him why, and will forever wonder what happened to their goat.
When Carla decides not to ever ask her husband why he didn’t bring the goat back, she has figured out who she is. She is a person who doesn’t like change, and no longer wants to start anything. She’s started her life over before, and that’s just not something she wants to do again. Carla also learns from her little adventure that she’s got what she wants out of life, and she doesn’t need to look for it somewhere else, and now that she’s threatened to, her husband seems to care a bit more about her feelings.
“Royal Beating. That was Flo’s promise. You are going to get one Royal Beating.” The story “Royal Beatings” is about a girl named Rose, who’s mother had died because of a blood clot. Her father re-married to a woman named Flo. Flo was a mouthy, gossipy, and seemingly annoying woman of about thirty or forty years old (Munro).
The struggle Rose has, is relatively the same as any other teenager. She wants to hate her parents. They fight with her all the time, and her father tends to knock her around quite a bit. She really wants to hate Flo, her step mom, for always “tattle-tailing” on her to her dad, who then gives her a “royal beating” which isn’t actually that bad at all (Munro).
She grows up this way, and after every beating, Rose caves in to sandwiches and sweets so as to make everything normal again. Flo always told stories about different things, and one particular story she told was about an old man, who was old then. When Rose grew up, she heard an interview with this man, and he was one hundred and two years old. That was when Rose realized she actually never hated her step mom at all. In fact, the only person she wanted to tell this to was Flo, but by then Flo was way too old and out of it to know what Rose was saying (Munro).
Rose grew up thinking one thing, that she hated her parents. It took an old man several years later to make her figure out what was true, and this is when she learned something about herself. This is her great epiphany.
All five of these stories are great examples of the epiphanies encountered in Munro’s stories. It begins to be more than a coincidence once you’ve read so many stories. This is a pattern Munro follows. The back of her books contain short biographies of her life. She lives with her husband in Ontario, and this is where most of her stories take place. The lifestyle where she lives is a lot different than that of a big city. In an interview with Vintage Books, Munro said, “I think there's perhaps an advantage living here of knowing more different sorts of people than you would know in a larger community (where you'd be shut up, mostly, in your own income or educational or professional ‘class’)” (Vintage). The problems faced by these women are problems that she feels happen around her, but “Human experience though doesn't seem to me to differ, except in fairly superficial ways, no matter what the customs and surroundings” (Vintage).
Critic David Skinner calls Munro’s stories “well-proportioned studies of women in various stages of life and self-understanding.” He also says that most of her stories “employ classic devices of life-changing confusion, where a misapprehension or a lie leads to a completely different future for everyone involved.” It is important to note Skinner’s opinion. Not only does it imply that Munro’s main characters’ lives are changed, but everyone involved are also changed (Skinner).
Once a story is read, and thought about, it is often forgotten so quickly afterward that not much thought is put into comparison. Do Alice Munro’s stories have a recurring pattern of women and their epiphanies? Yes. It can be concluded that Munro is an author with a pattern of characters and plots.


Works Cited
Munro, Alice. “An Ounce of a Cure.” The Compact Bedford Introduction to Literature.
Ed. Micheal Meyer. 7th ed. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2006.
Munro, Alice. “Dance of the Happy Shades.” Selected Stories. New York: Knopf. 1996. 16-25.
Munro, Alice. “Differently.” Friend of My Youth. New York: Knopf. 1990. 216-243. Munro, Alice. “Royal Beatings.” Selected Stories. New York: Knopf. 1996. 97-114.
Munro, Alice. “Runaway.” Runaway. New York: Knopf. 2004. 1-47.
Skinner, David. “Intricate Stories Told With Craft and Feeling.” Washington Times.
http://washingtontimes.com/books/20041218-100133-4676r.htm. June 18, 2007.
Vintage Books. http://www.randomhouse.com/vintage/read/secrets/munro.html. June 18,
2007.

I should be

writing


guess what


ANOTHER

essay



so my goal

is:
Have it done in 2 hours
and post it up here...

Logic's Enemy, Signing off@ 12:00 pm

i called her on the phone

and she touched herself
she touched herself
she touched herself
i called her on the phone and she touched herself

...i laughed myself to sleep.